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The Covid Diary that never was

On March 20, 2020 I created a blog category called, “Covid Diary.” I had just come back from a vacation, and while I was away, the world had changed. COVID-19 went from being a blip on my news feed to a full on worldwide panic. I had this idea in my head that as a nurse, I should be documenting this interesting time in history. As a hospice nurse, I believed I would be in the trenches of the pandemic. I expected to come in contact with many COVID patients. I was nervous, and afraid of catching this unknown virus; but also excited to be a nurse during a pandemic.

Turns out I was wrong. So totally wrong.

“Celestial Discharge” AI collage

First of all, the COVID-19 patients of 2020 didn’t tend to get to go to inpatient hospice. They went straight from the ventilator to the “celestial discharge,” if you know what I mean. At any rate, our much bigger unit across town was getting ready to convert a whole floor to be the designated “COVID Hospice Unit,” so all COVID patients would be diverted there. Read more

Step One: Model Calm Acceptance

Esterillos beach in after sunrise
The calm before the storm.
On March 7th my family and I left to go to Costa Rica for vacation. On the days leading up to our departure I (selfishly) kept hoping the COVID-19 numbers wouldn’t spike and we would be able to get onto the plane. My husband got laid off in January and we had paid for the trip in December. There was no way we were going to miss it.

We made it to Costa Rica and we had a wonderful time. But I kept reading updates on the virus and by the middle of the week I was feeling a sense of dread, not knowing what we were coming home to. Half way through we got the update that my kids schools were closing for two weeks. Read more

A Tale of Entry Level Hospice Nursing.

2016 was the year I finally broke into hospice nursing. I had taken a 6 year hiatus from nursing, in order to stay at home with my kids. I honestly wasn’t even sure if I wanted to keep being a nurse. But other job prospects seemed non-existent. The twins were in kindergarten. I had just completed my nurse refresher course and was starting my job hunt. I was reluctantly ready to be a nurse again. This is a story of how I got my first entry level hospice nursing job. Read more

Moral Distress in the ICU

Moral Distress in the ICU: Can you avoid it?

There is no doubt that working in the ICU can be a source of moral distress. I’ve been spending the last few months doing hospice home care and I’ve been thinking about going back to the hospital for various reasons. The last time I worked as a nurse in the ICU was the summer of 2009. I took a three month contract in the MICU. Not my first choice of employment, but I needed the money, and the work was familiar to me. Read more