Let me start by saying this: I love my job and I love my unit. I do, however have one, not so small grievance.

I am a salaried nurse. What this means is that I am required to work rotating 12 hour shifts. I work 20 of these shifts in a 6 week period. Thirteen of them are days and seven are nights. In addition I am required to schedule two shifts (a day and a night) in which I am ?on call.? I do not get paid differentials for nights and weekends because it is all factored into my salary.

If you ask me, it?s a shell game.

I really despise rotating from nights to days. Some different strategies have been suggested to me. One is to group all your nights together. This strategy is flawed in that you can?t really schedule seven 12 hour night shifts in a row. So even if you work three one week, four the next but you are still adjusting to the days in between, unless you are a hard-core night owl (which I am not.) You lose the day before a night shift because you are attempting to sleep. Then, when you are finished your three night run, you lose the next day because you are sleeping. I try to take the edge off by sleeping for 3-4 hours and then waking up to enjoy the rest of the day. I inevitably develop insomnia, often for the next two to three nights. This leads to depression, and sometimes even increased alcohol consumption. (?The nightlife ain?t no good life, yeah but it?s my life??)

Recently a permanent day position became available. I applied and was absolutely giddy with the prospect of no more night shifts. Alas, it went to someone with more seniority. I started to wonder why we don?t have more permanent day positions. We actually have lots of nurses who work permanent nights. Why not match that number with permanent day positions?

Then I realized why this cannot be. It?s the dinosaur effect. If you work 20 years on my unit you are no longer required to work nights. Believe it or not we actually have quite a few of these 20 year dinosaurs.

I can imagine that there are some experienced nurses out there reading this and they are thinking. ?Ha. I put up with it. I earned my seniority and my right to work only the day shifts. Didn?t they teach you this in nursing school? And if you ever refer to me as a dinosaur again I will sneak colace into your starbucks, you ungrateful wench.?

As a matter of fact I don?t think my nursing school ever once addressed the day to day (or day to night) realities of being a hospital nurse. They were too busy educating us on issues like the unfair portrayal of nurses in the media, and the higher mortality rates among hospitals that employ non-baccalaureate educated nurses. Although, come to think of it, I was once told by a clinical instructor, ?You may not wear socks that stop at the ankle! You are not here in the hospital to marry a doctor!? This, coming from an institution that prides itself on being ?one of the leading research institutions in the nation.? I thought I had been transported back to my Catholic school days. I was told by another clinical instructor that working in a Doctor’s office can be good job because, “the doctors will often let you stay at their vacation homes for free.”

And they wonder why nurses are portrayed unfairly in the media.

I shouldn?t complain. I?m the one that signed up for this deal. It?s all part of the package of working at the hospital I refer to as GHOAT (or the ?Greatest Hospital Of All Time? for those of you who are new to this blog). Supposedly, you put in your time at GHOAT and then every other Hospital HR person will think you?re the bee?s knees.

I just chose it because it?s minutes from my house.

So anyway, I will carry on. Like I said before I love my job. It?s the most interesting, exciting, challenging, and meaningful job I have ever held. And perhaps I will someday be a MICU dinosaur, although by then I will be 55 and I don?t know if my poor back will make it that long.