Dear NursePixel: There’s a nurse on my team who constantly undermines my decisions and talks behind my back. Last week, she even questioned my competence in front of a patient. How can I address this conflict without escalating it?

Let’s get real for a minute. Being a nurse is tough enough without having to deal with workplace drama. But here you are, trying to focus on your patients while Nurse Whispers-Behind-Your-Back is busy undermining your every move. And now she’s taken it to a whole new level by questioning your competence in front of a patient? Oh, honey. We need to talk.

First off, let me say: you’re not alone. Every nurse I know has had that one coworker who seems to have made it their mission to make your life miserable. Maybe they’re insecure, maybe they’re going through something, or maybe they just never learned how to play nice in the sandbox. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t excuse the behavior.

Now, I know the temptation. You want to fire back, maybe let a little something slip about her not-so-perfect charting or that time she gave the wrong meds. But we’re better than that. We’re nurses, not characters in some hospital drama. Our patients trust us with their lives; we can’t let petty squabbles put that trust at risk.

So, what do you do? First, take a deep breath. Remember why you got into this gig. It wasn’t for the chance to wear scrubs every day (though that helps). It was to take care of people, to make a difference, right? Keep that front and center.

Next, channel your inner charge nurse. You know, that calm-in-the-storm vibe they’ve got? You’re going to have a conversation with Nurse Whispers. Not in the hallway, not by the nurses’ station, and definitely not in front of patients. Find a private spot and lay it out.

Start with “I”: “I’ve noticed…”, “I feel…”, “I’m concerned…” This isn’t an attack; it’s opening a dialogue. Tell her how her actions affect patient care and team morale. Be specific. “When you questioned my IV order in front of Mr. Peterson, it made him anxious and made it harder for me to do my job.” Facts, not accusations.

Now, here’s the tricky part. Listen. Yeah, I know. But sometimes, when people lash out, it’s because they’re drowning. Maybe she feels out of her depth, or there’s something going on at home. Understanding doesn’t mean accepting bad behavior, but it can help you find a solution.

Propose a plan. If she has concerns, she comes to you directly or takes it up the chain of command properly. No more hallway whispers or patient room theatrics. You’re both professionals; act like it.

Will this fix everything overnight? Probably not. But it’s a start. If things don’t improve, or if she escalates, then it’s time to get management involved. Document everything. Not as ammo, but as a record of your attempts to resolve this professionally.

Remember, in nursing, we’re only as strong as our weakest link. A team that’s busy bickering can miss important things. A patient’s subtle decline, a family member’s unspoken fear. We can’t afford that.

You’ve got this. You’re a nurse. You deal with life and death, with joy and grief, every single day. A difficult coworker? That’s just another challenge. Face it head-on, with professionalism and a touch of that nursing tough love.

And if all else fails, there’s always the power of a well-timed eye roll at the nurses’ station. Just kidding! (Sort of.) Stay strong, stay professional, and keep being the amazing nurse you are. Your patients need you more than they need workplace drama.”