Before I became a nurse I had a completely different view of doctors.

Because of my stellar health (or more likely, lack of health insurance) I tended to avoid them. What little exposure I had of doctors came from waiting on them in an upscale restaurant. You’d have a group of docs, sitting around a table, having a very intense conversation. You would approach them to take a drink order and they would basically ignore you. This game could go on for quite some time until one of the docs had a hankering for a cocktail. Then they would summons you over and ask you what took you so long.

Looking back I now realize that perhaps they were waiting for my interruption, but at the time that didn’t occur to me. Besides, from the looks of the conversation they were having, they always seemed like they were on the verge of curing cancer.

Since I’ve become a nurse my view of doctors has become much more well-rounded. One thing that fascinates me is how the personality of the doctors often will correspond to their specialty. You know the stereotypes…

• Surgeons are cocky, but are excellent at making snap decisions.

• Anesthesiologists always have something funny to say.

• Nephrologists and Hepatologists: all about the numbers.

• ER residents have unbounded enthusiasm and are great at putting lines in.

An aside on ER docs: One time in my restaurant days I got side-swiped by a wayward crab claw. My manager insisted it was the worst cut he had ever seen so he sent me to GHOAT’s ER. I didn’t get seen until the wee hours of the morning and when I did I was surrounded by a small gaggle of residents, scrutinizing a small black object in the center of my wound. They were knocking themselves out trying to figure out what it was. At the time their intense scrutiny was really making me nervous but now I wonder why someone didn’t just grab a sterile tweezers and pull the damn thing out…then I remembered that it was sometime around July 1st.

But I have to say, as a MICU nurse, I thoroughly enjoy working with pulmonologists. They are highly intelligent and generous in sharing their knowledge. They are very respectful of their non-MD colleagues (nurses, physical therapists, respiratory therapists, etc.) I also get a sense that they have a real passion for their specialty because let’s face it, you don’t choose pulmonology to get rich.

I particularly enjoy their brand of humor. It’s not the 24-hour stand-up comedy you get from the anesthesiologists – it’s more dry, more reserved. And sometimes it pisses people off.

There is one attending whose acerbic wit never fails to amuse me. The other day during rounds one of the residents was going on and on about some obscure kidney impairment that he suspected the patient had, and his reasons for justifying the diagnosis. (It’s important to note that this patient had a transplanted lung that was found to be cancerous after the transplant – he was actively dying).

The attending says, “Look, as far as I’m concerned, the kidneys are a pair of black boxes. Blood goes in, piss comes out. If you ask a nephrologist to describe a kidney, he’ll tell you it’s thousands of little black boxes where blood goes in and piss comes out. Where are you going with this?”

Another time there was a nurse that was fuming because the residents decided to order a CT scan for her patient and they had failed to inform her ahead of time (this sucks for the nurse because it falls on you to make sure the patient gets transported to CT). She complained to the snarky attending: “I just don’t appreciate being the last to know about these things!”

The pulmonologist’s reply? “Try telling someone else. Then they will be the last to know.”